Marriage--Why Do We All Do It?

Why do so many women dream about, wish for, pray for, and resort to all sorts of tactics to get themselves trapped? Why do they? Why is the myth of marriage so powerful to create industries for singles to find their ideal mate, create the perfect wedding, award more degrees for marriage counselors, and ultimately, more attorneys for those nasty divorces when the sheen of the first month wears off?

I don't understand why so many of us find ourselves trapped, in a constant of compromise with another person and yourself--for what?

If I were to do it all again, I would never, ever get married. Period. It is not for me, I know with certainty each day. It's not so much about the person I'm married to, but just the institution itself. Women, in my opinion, lose out on all fronts of this arrangement. Yes, some of us can anesthetize ourselves with shopping for unnecessary, frivolous things. Others can seek solace, permanently, on a therapist's couch. Others use anti-depressants. Others just drink. But all of us seek out some resolve for the wearying constant that is married life.

Part of the blame should be directed toward the individuals involved in the misery of married life, and in my life, my husband, who exemplifies all the selfishness of most men. I think our culture has a way of raising boys to become incompetent emotional beings, particularly for the demands of modern married life where everything has to be negotiated. Remember we are the generation raised on "talking it out," an impossibility when boys, later men, aren't well versed in parsing out their emotional life into words, always words.

So, why do it? That is what I ask myself each and every day. Sometimes I fantasize about leaving permanently. That is, unfortunately, on most days. Perhaps tomorrow will be better. Or perhaps not. I'm sure our marriage will be a ticking clock, an expiration date just around the corner.