LA Life

My son and I made the five hour journey, both of us kept amused by different things: my son with his portable DVD player, me with a stack of trashy magazines. The flight while long was uneventful, the food now only available by purchase, drinks sparsely doled out during the long flight, the movie something no one had seen or ever wanted to. Air travel, unless you pay for the luxury seats up front, has become completely utilitarian. We landed, the plane descending over a squat structures, which seemed to stretch for miles. My irritation was almost instantaneous upon landing. Yes, the sun was shining, the temperature that mild, temperate 70 something degrees. The baggage claim, notoriously slow, was much faster this time, so our bags were retrieved in a timely fashion. A car was rented, one of those nondescript sedans that is only memorable if in a bright color, and soon we were headed north on the roadways of LA.

Fear is not the apt word to describe how I feel when driving here. It is much more complicated than that, which has been, unfortunately for the readers, exhaustively detailed and chronicled on this blog site. Needless to say, many cars whizzed past us, their annoyance so noticeable in how close they were to our slow moving vehicle when they passed.

My son was beyond excited to see his Tia. And she equally excited. There were phone calls exchanged, plans for pick up as I realized how fruitless it would be to stand in his way of spending time with this woman who had figured so prominently in his little life. My feelings were a bit hurt to see his anxiousness, something I had assumed children only reserved for their mothers and fathers. I know all of this was irrational, but then the emotional avalanche of being here was making me less sanguine about any of this.

My friend, who is graciously putting us up, and I caught up effortlessly. It felt seamless how easily we fell into conversation, as if these last three or so months since I departed was a mere blip. There are many more reunions planned for today. Many more opportunities for me to feel the observer, watching all of it unfold without me really present.