Childhood Accelerated

Everything in our culture feels accelerated from the most mundane to the most esoteric. Communication is now available to us in milliseconds, a call arriving anywhere and anytime. The written correspondence composed on beautiful stationery is now available as quickly as a thought is cogent--the internet. A leisurely meal now means you've lingered at your table, gasp, for more than two hours. As everything gets accelerated, it's only fitting that childhood gets on this speed cycle. Kindergarten is now what first grade used to be for us--those of us north of thirty. Learning to read and write are part of the curriculum in Kindergarten. The days when kids came for half day programs, played some blocks, learned to socialize with peers have been replaced by journal writing, math, discussion of 'feelings,' art, music, and gym. I get tired just thinking about my five year olds full day. Hence, it's only fitting that their games, the intricacies of their games have accelerated. My son, who is a mere five only days ago, discusses at length about the number of children he will have, and who will be caring for them. At five.

A documentary about adolescence, narrated by Samuel Jackson, brought the hyper speed of childhood into light. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen year olds gave candid interviews about their sexual experiences, usually fueled by drinking parties. Drinking parties at twelve. Somehow these sexually-loaded, alcohol-fueled nights felt so adult, in fact, they reminded me of the parties I had attended as a sixteen year old in high school. Children today are experiencing things three years ahead of previous generations. To listen to a twelve year old girl describing how acceptable it was to give 'head' to her boyfriend made my head spin. This troubling trend is all the more disturbing since we, Americans, have made an art of preserving childhood-- compared to the rest of the world. This twelve year old discussing fellatio is a tad bit less disturbing than the nine year old prostitute in Thailand, whose childhood came to an end a long time ago because of poverty. So, compared to the rest of the world where childhood is a commodity for sale, our children do remain innocent longer. Or do they?

This speeding up of life will, I assume, only accelerate. What's next, drinking parties for third graders? If we keep up at this speed, that seems to be the way our world will end up, a bunch of brazen, drunken third graders, discussing fellatio.

As much as I try and preserve our son's childhood, it is a constant battle in a world where at every turn, our culture is aimed at curtailing this brief period of innocence. When we were in LA, our neighbors were taking their two year olds to see the latest animated movie from Pixar or Disney. A movie theater for a two year old. Somehow that didn't feel right to us as a family, considering I didn't see a movie till I was at least 9 or ten. The need to keep our child plugged into the latest cultural fad, dictated by a bunch of animated characters, seemed like a fools errand.

I know each generation says parenting is the hardest job. And it is. But I know the world, our world, is out of control when my parents tell me they'd hate to raise a child today. This same sentiment has been expressed on more than one occasion by a number of older people. I don't what's more challenging: raising a boy or raising a girl.

I wish I'd been able to sleep that night instead of watching with mouth agape at these 'tweens' discussing their worlds. Shock was one emotion, but sadness was what I'd most felt, seeing such young kids sorting out emotions and the intricacies of intimacy and sex, complications adults can barely manage to figure out. Since this generation is on such a fast track, perhaps they will have it all figured out these perplexing questions by the time they reach 40, which in our world won't even be middle age, but what was, in the past, considered to be the 20's.