Values: East versus West

The inherent difference of values between the East coast and the West is most apparent in the offspring of the leisure class. Those children, fortunate enough to have parents who own houses here, work around the island, their summers a healthy combination of work and play. Kids, despite their parents' affluence, start babysitting or working as young as 14. Yes, they spend plenty of time hanging out at the beaches, traipsing around the three towns, and enjoying being young and here on this island.

As they get older, the jobs seem to get more taxing, their college summers spent waiting tables at any number of eating establishments. This parental expectation of kids working must be a result of the Puritan work ethic. Their counterparts in LA rarely pushed their kids to take on such responsibilities. In fact, my friends, whose kids were of working age, never seemed to view this as a possibility--as if working were something beneath their kids' stature in the world. This is not to pass judgment on their decision to keep their kids shielded from the grind of having to work since most will spend the bulk of their existence doing just that. Yet, is this prudent? Even for those with trust funds--although so few will be so fortunate--the drive to do something should be fostered, right? Isn't it realistic for those kids, who will have to face the reality of a life where they don't have the luxury to do nothing, be given some forewarning? To be given a preview, so to speak, when the stakes aren't nearly as dire.

Our baby sitter's work ethic, which is astounding for someone her age, is not a fair measure. She can out work even most grown adults, it seems. But her assumption she will work, and work hard, is something I didn't witness in most of my friends' kids. Most of my friends spent their time fostering a charade of life where their kids' main job was to move from one 'enrichment' activity to another, as if this were a preview of what their lives will be. And again, so few will be lucky enough to avoid the reality of life: going to work each day to pay for mortgages, cars, and all the other necessary every items. I can imagine the sense of disappointment these kids will feel once they realize that life isn't simply about merely doing things they want, that much of life is doing things that are far from exciting or enriching.

You see these teens, standing behind candy counters, ringing up your groceries, taking your order for a pizza and clam strips, all over the island. Some move from job to job each season, this dance for the perfect job an early preview of what their twenties, and possibly, their thirties will be. They may have missed some revealing moment about themselves and their interests from not having spent their summer at drama camp. But I would bet my money on these kids faring better than their counterparts, who spent their summers at camp or traveling. This advantage may not be apparent at the moment, but will reveal itself later, when the stakes are more important. My son, who is a mere four and a half, has identified places he would like to work once he gets of age. Of course, this list of potential jobs changes each day, but his expectation that he will work never wanes. We hope this imperative lesson of life will provide a sturdy foundation for him as he enters adulthood.