My husband and I celebrated our tenth year together as husband and wife yesterday. It's hard to imagine we've been married for so long, and been together even longer. Marriage is nothing like they advertise in those ridiculous romance novels. Come to think about it, they don't actually write about marriages, do they? No, they write about the passion and romance before the wedding takes place. I suppose it would be challenging for a writer to make the story of marriage, particularly long ones, sound romantic and passionate. I've decided that marriage is not for the faint hearted. One must be hearty and full of piss and vinegar (full of cliches today) to a) get married, and b) to stay married.
And like most marriages, those that are really honest, ours is always challenging and interesting. We are, like everyone else, trying to figure out how to make this tenuous union secure from the ruptures caused by the mere fact that we are individuals. We have, at this point, received our Masters Degree in the major of Compromise. It seems compromising is all marriage is really about. When you are in the throes of romance, and just relieved to have found someone who is cute, fun, smart, and has a job, you overlook the early dance of compromise. Oh, you know those inane conversations about where you should go for dinner, with both of you pretending to not really care where you want to go, when in truth you really want to eat pizza. Or in my case, sushi. Well, once the sheen has worn off, and your initial relief has turned into a sense of entitlement that-- of course you have snagged the good guy-- the compromise dance is no longer so polite. Instead of dancing a waltz, it is more like a tug of war with both of you pulling on your end for victory. Oh let me stop. My weariness after so many years is starting to come through in this blog.
Our marriage, despite the constant negotiations, feels healthier, more honest than it has in years. We are both passionate in the fight to keep our marriage. But we also understand that we can't predict what the future will bring. If we are lucky then we may be celebrating our 20th in ten years. Goodness! And to the same man, even.
Our marriage, despite the constant negotiations, feels healthier, more honest than it has in years. We are both passionate in the fight to keep our marriage. But we also understand that we can't predict what the future will bring. If we are lucky then we may be celebrating our 20th in ten years. Goodness! And to the same man, even.
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