Liberation

All of this purging is starting to feel liberating--just a tad since the other thing it has done is to illustrate the ways my obsessiveness took a turn for something beyond healthy. Yes, if my husband found one more box of Christmas ornaments, I think he would have had me committed. See, I like Christmas! And I like, or rather, collect very fancy, expensive Christmas ornaments that I buy the day after Christmas at Neiman's. Yes, I'm one of those insane people standing outside Neiman's at 7:00 in the morning to make sure I get in the doors first, lest I lose out on that brown faced Santa that cost as much as rent for some that may live in places like Nebraska. So, he has put all of my collections in the middle of the basement, hoping, I'm sure, to cure me of this ridiculous behavior. And yes, I was a bit alarmed to see the piles of boxes. And I will have to downsize since I'm sure our place in New York won't be big enough for two trees. Don't ask. But how do I get rid of these beautiful, delicate items that bring me so much happiness, for a couple of weeks in the month of December?

I have had the foresight to get rid of all the Halloween items to our friends, who would appreciate the scarecrow and witches. I know that people will marvel at the excesses of my time in this Suburbanopolis. And I take full responsibility for all of it, no matter how absurd. And believe me when I say that it is beyond absurd.

So, the one dumpster that got filled has been replaced by another, waiting to be filled. And fill it, we will this week as I make my way out of my office into the kitchen. Such are the joys of my days at the moment.

I have allowed myself time to meet with a friend or two. And today was no exception as I allowed myself the mental, physical break of getting out of the house and away from piles of crap. And it was after the pleasant hour that the reality of not having those times with some of my dearest settled into my chest. And with it, an ache.

And no, I have not finished cataloguing my books. But it is on my agenda for tomorrow, if I can get tear away from the paper shredder.