Fasting---Holiday overdone

This year's holiday was especially fraught with anticipation since it was our first Thanksgiving with my entire extended family in a long, long time. In actuality, it was my husband's first sojourn to my family home. What can one say about the terrible deeds family exact on each other? It is as if blood, or rather, the sharing of blood gives you license to behave in ways that would be unheard of with strangers. This family gathering was, to say the least, highly charged. And since this is my family, that meant lots of wine, probably enough wine to have cleaned out an entire winery.

The emotional toil on my husband and me was overwhelming, which meant we dealt with it by laughing at ourselves, the situation, and my family. The best part of the weekend was my son's first meeting of his half-cousins. So, after so many years, we are now part of my entire family--the dysfunctions, the rivalries, the grudges, and the guilt. It was easier to manage this part of our history when we were so far away. I could ignore I was part of this family that is a bit like the Sopranos in drama and emotionality, if the Korean version. But now that we are here, so close to it all, we are now fully enmeshed. Whether I will regret this move is still to be determined after a few more holiday gatherings where we go out of our way to be as crazy, eccentric, and emotional as a family of mental institution patients.

My son said he had a great time, and wanted to come often to his grandparent's. This declaration more than made up for the emotional baggage adults carry from their past, present, and future. If I can't provide him nothing beyond these family experiences, most of which will surely end up with him spending ample time on a couch, then I've done my job as a mother. Isn't that what life is about? The passing of the torch, so to speak, except the torch is laden, not only with flames of hope, but the pain of each family's secrets and their past?