Friday, June 29, 2007

Good-bye LA, FINALLY!!!

This is our last day here. I got in last night very late, so I was exhausted, to say the least. We drove around the early part of the day, and had lunch at our son's favorite Korean restaurant. It all felt uneventful, another sunny day maneuvering through the traffic. We have left our temporary housing by the Grove, and are now at a hotel by the airport since we have an early flight out of the city for Boston, and then to Martha's Vineyard. It is funny how detached I am from the reality that until last week I lived here. Today, my nanny served as chauffeur since I was carless, my car on its way to Martha's Vineyard. My husband handed over his car to its new owner, who will hopefully enjoy the low gas mileage of that hybrid. We ate at our neighborhood Trattoria, one last time. We drove past our old house, saying our final farewell to our little Rose Cottage. I think I have spent all the emotional wattage during this month since all I felt was relief. I am looking forward to unpacking our many suitcases, unpacking boxes in our New York apartment, setting up our new life.

I'm certain this chapter of my life will feel meaningful, at some later date. I'm sure I will make references to LA, almost nostalgically, sentimentality wrapped up in each wistful remembrance. I know my next novel will be set in LA. With the distance, I will be able to write about his strange, dystopic city, so I can make sense of the myriad of emotions it has brought forth for me during my many years here.

My son, who is sad, but is being stoic about the rapid changes his life has undergone, is still the happy kid that he has always been. He said good-bye to his Tia without much fanfare. It was when his Tia and I hugged that each of us broke down and sobbed. I know I will miss her presence, her constant presence in my every day life. I know I am ready to forge ahead, but losing her is still immense.

From our window, we can see airplanes lifting off and touching down. It seems fitting my last memory of LA is with airplanes in its evening sky.

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